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Thread: My son-in-law is shameless!

  1. #1
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    Default My son-in-law is shameless!

    Dear Madam,
    its about one year since our daughter got married to the person of her own choice and we accepted him.
    since before the marriage whenever we met the boy (our now son-in-law) used to indulge in excess PDA to everybody's discomfort.
    recently I visited their house on invitation and much insistence and stayed for about a week.
    The man is absolute shameless. He not openly indulges in kissing, hugging, petting and fondling his wife,
    they even don't close the bedroom door in the nights.
    Most disgusting thing is he prances in the house stark naked and also walks out of bathroom without a stitch of cloth on his body, and has no qualms about all this.
    Not even my presence in the house.

    I have returned to my house but am unable to give any advise to them and also my daughter.
    Please advice. It is very improbable that I would visit them again.

    Worried Woman

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hmm, well, I can understand that you may be upset and uncomfortable with this behaviour, but have you tried telling your daughter and him that so much of openness makes you uncomfortable?
    Look, he's new to your family and probably does not know your expectations. so why not tell him that you would be much happier if he were to be slightly more circumspect your presence and that's a request you are making him as an elder of the family. Say that you are a little fixed in your ways and since you will be visiting only sometimes, you hope e would make a few adjustments for you.
    If not to him, do communicate this to your daughter. You maybe able to work out a via media.

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    DIVIDED WE FALL !! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    Tell your daughter, if she doesn't have a problem with it then its no problem. Whenever you wanna meet your daughter, meet her separately or ask her to come to your home. Most Mother-in-law don't like their son-in-law for one or other reason, no big deal if you not wanna meet him.
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    Rainbow chaser Major General
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    PDA is common these days, but what you said is utter shamelessness. As preeto suggested, better tell your daughter about this.

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    no mention of your daughter's views in your query. talk to your daughter, if she is ok with all of this then you should stay away from them if you dont like it. you cannot force them to wear clothes or close their bedroom door when they are inside their house. only thing you can do is close your eyes/ close your bedroom door or better yet just stay away from them altogether.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Just leave them alone, you can live without visiting them.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    PDA was ok to an extent.... Can understand. but what's the shit he is trying to prove by walking out of the washroom without even underwear
    I think your daughter and son in law are psycho who are behaving and tolerating stupidity of each other. Better you stop visiting them.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

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    ~PrincE~ Major LuVon's Avatar
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    "Aisa kaun karta hai bhai" (read in dr. Mashoor gulati's tone)
    Either he is a cheapo or mentally sick... or is trying (remember after being irritated of ur presence) to hint u to go away frm their house n let them enjoy their togetherness..
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    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LuVon View Post
    "Aisa kaun karta hai bhai" (read in dr. Mashoor gulati's tone)
    Either he is a cheapo or mentally sick... or is trying (remember after being irritated of ur presence) to hint u to go away frm their house n let them enjoy their togetherness..
    Yes this is a probability too...... He is hinting his mother in law to stay away from their home.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

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    Generations are like this now

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LuVon View Post
    "Aisa kaun karta hai bhai" (read in dr. Mashoor gulati's tone)
    Either he is a cheapo or mentally sick... or is trying (remember after being irritated of ur presence) to hint u to go away frm their house n let them enjoy their togetherness..
    Quote Originally Posted by Neha1 View Post
    Yes this is a probability too...... He is hinting his mother in law to stay away from their home.
    but the said MIL in question has clearly mentioned - "visited their house on invitation and much insistence..."

    so if the SIL invited his MIL and is then trying to go full monty on her, maybe SIL's intentions are not right...the FIL needs to intervene and protect his woman from this tharki SIL.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    Default Be Happy & Thankful to God instead of worrying...

    Hello ma'am,

    Please stop worrying and start being happy, instead!

    1. its about one year since our daughter got married to the person
    In one year,all you can complain about is the discomfort you felt at their place. No discomfiture caused to daughter, no fights, no dowry demands, no affairs, no money issues or career setbacks or health issues... It's more than a mother should wish for her daughter. Please feel happy and thankful to God for this.

    2. since before the marriage whenever we met the boy (our now son-in-law) used to indulge in excess PDA to everybody's discomfort.
    He is not a pretender. He doesn't want you away. Had he been a bad guy, he would have acted maturely and soberly BEFORE marriage. He might be a psycho(will come to that), but he is definitely NOT a bad person... Isn't that a great thing? People react so differently before permission and after marriage... Your son-in-law is not that pretender!

    3. recently I visited their house on invitation and much insistence...
    Well educated, otherwise well-behaved couples hate any intrusion to privacy by their parents. This couple invited you. At the least, this shows you are welcomed and NOT a discomfort to them! Can your friends boast of same with their daughters and sons-in-law with confidence? You should be proud of them!

    4. The man is... ...qualms about all this. Not even my presence in the house.
    Think for a moment about families where the girls have to be in long veils all the time, or burkas or anything. Or, think about families where whole family goes to a topless beach or, even a nude beach. There are families where everyone drinks hiding from others, while in others the bottles open at dining table, together... Nothing is wrong or right. It's just our sense of morality and acceptance. You accepted your daughter's choice to get her married, some families would have murdered their daughters before that. You are a great lady, and so are they a great couple, it's only a matter of difference in trifle matters - trifle and insignificant because any which way you are not living with them...

    5. I have returned to my house but am unable to give any advise to them and also my daughter.
    THE ADVICE PART... You don't have to advise them anything. They are happy in their own might and you will be, if you accept them for who they are! But yeah, you have to just tell your daughter plainly and straight of your discomfort. No, may be, lie a bit... tell your daughter that you are happy for her and that you love her and like that your SIL takes his care and home etc etc... But you are not comfortable with them getting too close in your presence. So, next time you will come, request them to act bit toned down, as they would be in a public place or a mall, or somewhere else, a little more "decently"...

    Regards and Best Wishes
    anks_sb
    Last edited by anks_sb; 07-01-2017 at 01:03 PM. Reason: grammar

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    bach ke rehna re ba ba

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    verylongstory...........

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    ha bahi sahi h.....................

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