1 year after marriage and no sex

Unregistered · 19-11-2016, 10:00 AM

Hi..
I'm a 27 year old woman. I got married last year. it was an arranged marriage, so during my first night, I told my husband that Im not ready to have sex as I want to understand him better before having sex.. he was completely supportive and told me that even he feels the same. we traveled a lot in the first 3 months of our marriage and I really started loving my husband. I told him that I'm ready..
but my husbands parents came to live with us for 6 months and since we live in a 1 bedroom apartment, we could not do anything as we had no privacy and they would keep coming to our bedroom all the time.. it's not that we dint do anything. we used to kiss and make out, but it never went beyond that.
my in laws left last month. i thought that we can finally have sex atleast now, but in this one month, he made out with me just 2 times. every night, he tells me that he's tired and goes to sleep.. on weekends, he watches TV till late night and then tells me that he's sleepy and falls asleep.. i feel really bad..
except this, he's a really good guy. he helps me in the kitchen, he's very loving and understanding.. and has no other bad habits. he does not go out unnecessary..
I dont know what's wrong.. first I thought il talk to him about this. I've told him several times that I'm ready.. I dont want to keep telling it and seem desperate.. what can I do??

**Preeto Maam** · 28-11-2016, 11:59 AM

Hi!
Well, there's no question of seeming to be desperate, this is your conjugal right. However, there seems to be something stopping your husband. maybe it is performance anxiety or maybe there's a sexual or psychological issue.
Encouraging him to bring it out in the open is a good idea. At least you'll know exactly what the scene is. So rather than expecting that sex will happen, it may be time to try and handle it in a different way- communicating about your needs and asking what the brakes are in his mind.

**rv102938** · 28-11-2016, 10:51 PM

there's definitely some issues going on here. if he has manly feelings, he would have definitely made and effort. you need to talk to him, nothing wrong in that.

**prabhendu** · 29-11-2016, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi..
I'm a 27 year old woman. I got married last year. it was an arranged marriage, so during my first night, I told my husband that Im not ready to have sex as I want to understand him better before having sex.. he was completely supportive and told me that even he feels the same. we traveled a lot in the first 3 months of our marriage and I really started loving my husband. I told him that I'm ready..
but my husbands parents came to live with us for 6 months and since we live in a 1 bedroom apartment, we could not do anything as we had no privacy and they would keep coming to our bedroom all the time.. it's not that we dint do anything. we used to kiss and make out, but it never went beyond that.
my in laws left last month. i thought that we can finally have sex atleast now, but in this one month, he made out with me just 2 times. every night, he tells me that he's tired and goes to sleep.. on weekends, he watches TV till late night and then tells me that he's sleepy and falls asleep.. i feel really bad..
except this, he's a really good guy. he helps me in the kitchen, he's very loving and understanding.. and has no other bad habits. he does not go out unnecessary..
I dont know what's wrong.. first I thought il talk to him about this. I've told him several times that I'm ready.. I dont want to keep telling it and seem desperate.. what can I do??

either you are not making it explicit enough or probably you made him wait long enough

**oceanseleven80** · 29-11-2016, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi..
I'm a 27 year old woman. I got married last year. it was an arranged marriage, so during my first night, I told my husband that Im not ready to have sex as I want to understand him better before having sex.. he was completely supportive and told me that even he feels the same. we traveled a lot in the first 3 months of our marriage and I really started loving my husband. I told him that I'm ready..
but my husbands parents came to live with us for 6 months and since we live in a 1 bedroom apartment, we could not do anything as we had no privacy and they would keep coming to our bedroom all the time.. it's not that we dint do anything. we used to kiss and make out, but it never went beyond that.
my in laws left last month. i thought that we can finally have sex atleast now, but in this one month, he made out with me just 2 times. every night, he tells me that he's tired and goes to sleep.. on weekends, he watches TV till late night and then tells me that he's sleepy and falls asleep.. i feel really bad..
except this, he's a really good guy. he helps me in the kitchen, he's very loving and understanding.. and has no other bad habits. he does not go out unnecessary..
I dont know what's wrong.. first I thought il talk to him about this. I've told him several times that I'm ready.. I dont want to keep telling it and seem desperate.. what can I do??

==============================
The problem here is the 1 yr gap which came in between you and your husband. That urge, that desire to explore each other's body has died down for your husband after initial hugging/kissing/ and other activities. And it is quite natural and happens between lot of couples. Even between them who have lot of sex in initial years and after 2-3 years they are the same stage. Take a vacation and try to add some revealing dresses to your wardrobe. You never know things might change...
Best of Luck