Hi, I'm 25 M. I started talking to my Cousin Sister 4-5 year back online daily. She's my massi's youngest daughter and 4.5 year elder to me. We find lots of things in each other relatable and admires each others strength and weaknesses. Slowly I started to have feeling for her but didn't recognize the love for some montha but as time went by I understood my love for her and decided to break it to her so that I'm not cheating myself or her by hiding these feelings. At first she gets shocked and distrusted me but after listening to my feelings and giving time understand my love she accepted my love. At that time we are thinking of our future just living in the present. Fast forward to future i. e. past 2 years we are in a relationship. We know our relation is taboo but still our love for each other kept us together. Our families started to have doubt about relation and think of it only sexual relation which is totally not the case. We tried to break the truth to them but they are not accepting the faint idea of this we get feared so we kept our mouth shut for about 1 year. We live in 2 different states and have met only for 3 to 4 times in person in past 5 years. Our relationship is what keeps me going in my life. Since our families not willing to understand us we decided to go for ourselfes and decided to elope. We crafted a plan in which during marriage of her elder brother we can met and she can give me all her neccesary belongings to me. And soon after the marriage we can go separately and met in way so no one can doubt us running away together.
So the after we ran away me get married and accuired certificates. After which we break in the news that we are together and wants to marry each other (we hide our marriage to reduce the shock to our families).
But to our worst fears they reacted badly to the news. After that they started to locate us so we started running away from place to place for ten days after which my family decided to listen me up with promise of no harm her.
Soon we went back and told that we got married. But little did I know they are planing to seprate us by the most powerful weapon on earth "Emotions". We tried our level best to express ourself and at the end they even understood a little. But, as they honestly wants to accept us but due to social and relative pressure as if they got to know all this they sure will dumped us from every thing at every level of society.
And soon or later it will affact my younger sisters marriage.
My father simple put this, "people will say they destroyed the brother sister relationship".
But, we hardly meet each other 10 times in our life time. The cousin relationship is of name only. this 10 days we lived like a married couple and every where we go me receive compliments. We are so happy and positive about our selfes.
but our dream shatters as my family give us 2 options. ether to with each other but leave family or to be with family and leave each other.
Her mother is behaving crazy and hospitalized 3 times in these 10 days.
so here i have 2 options
1. to be happy with her and make life of our families hell
2. to make our families happy and leave each other
i went for 2nd option as it became too emotionally hard for me to be happy after making cry my family and almost killing her mother.
Now it's 6 days since we are separated, and I can not express how low I'm feeling missing her and feeling guilty to let her go.
I just want to know have I done the right thing or not?