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Thread: Eloped with cousin but now separated by family

  1. #16
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    This is really difficult... well all i can say is whatever decision you take it has to be mutual.. i hope that the decision you took was hers as well because if not she must be really suffering.. family is important but the fact that you married her she is also a part of your family now... if she agrees to leave then leave.. but if she is suffering then i believe you must support her and better be with a decision she feel is right! as far as you both will agree on a certain decision things will be better!
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

  2. #17
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    Morality is just a myth..Family will always try to blackmail you even if you have decided to any other girl as well.

    Best is to live for what you love.Stcik to your commitment you give to your love.. Marry her & leave family & be happy
    Family will always be unhappy on whatever you do even if you marry to girl as per their wish- they will latter pamper you..All that in-law's fight & story of every household.
    So thinking that your family is always happy is just a second Myth

    So live happy with your love..Do not give anyone else the right to decide what is right & what is wrong for you. Just ignore this moral shit & be happy @!!!!!!

  3. #18
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    seems ok for me
    enjoy your life yar

  4. #19
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    elope again with your wife and live somewhere cousin marriages are not taboo.... they are allowed among muslims btw... down the lane 5 to 10 years your parents and relatives won't be there in this world .... and whole your life you will live with regret

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi, I'm 25 M. I started talking to my Cousin Sister 4-5 year back online daily. She's my massi's youngest daughter and 4.5 year elder to me. We find lots of things in each other relatable and admires each others strength and weaknesses. Slowly I started to have feeling for her but didn't recognize the love for some montha but as time went by I understood my love for her and decided to break it to her so that I'm not cheating myself or her by hiding these feelings. At first she gets shocked and distrusted me but after listening to my feelings and giving time understand my love she accepted my love. At that time we are thinking of our future just living in the present. Fast forward to future i. e. past 2 years we are in a relationship. We know our relation is taboo but still our love for each other kept us together. Our families started to have doubt about relation and think of it only sexual relation which is totally not the case. We tried to break the truth to them but they are not accepting the faint idea of this we get feared so we kept our mouth shut for about 1 year. We live in 2 different states and have met only for 3 to 4 times in person in past 5 years. Our relationship is what keeps me going in my life. Since our families not willing to understand us we decided to go for ourselfes and decided to elope. We crafted a plan in which during marriage of her elder brother we can met and she can give me all her neccesary belongings to me. And soon after the marriage we can go separately and met in way so no one can doubt us running away together.
    So the after we ran away me get married and accuired certificates. After which we break in the news that we are together and wants to marry each other (we hide our marriage to reduce the shock to our families).
    But to our worst fears they reacted badly to the news. After that they started to locate us so we started running away from place to place for ten days after which my family decided to listen me up with promise of no harm her.
    Soon we went back and told that we got married. But little did I know they are planing to seprate us by the most powerful weapon on earth "Emotions". We tried our level best to express ourself and at the end they even understood a little. But, as they honestly wants to accept us but due to social and relative pressure as if they got to know all this they sure will dumped us from every thing at every level of society.
    And soon or later it will affact my younger sisters marriage.
    My father simple put this, "people will say they destroyed the brother sister relationship".
    But, we hardly meet each other 10 times in our life time. The cousin relationship is of name only. this 10 days we lived like a married couple and every where we go me receive compliments. We are so happy and positive about our selfes.

    but our dream shatters as my family give us 2 options. ether to with each other but leave family or to be with family and leave each other.
    Her mother is behaving crazy and hospitalized 3 times in these 10 days.
    so here i have 2 options
    1. to be happy with her and make life of our families hell
    2. to make our families happy and leave each other

    i went for 2nd option as it became too emotionally hard for me to be happy after making cry my family and almost killing her mother.

    Now it's 6 days since we are separated, and I can not express how low I'm feeling missing her and feeling guilty to let her go.

    I just want to know have I done the right thing or not?
    There is nothing called right/wrong. its only perspectives and versions. Sometimes some relations are not bound to happen u should know tht else Romeo-Juliet, Heer-Ranjha would have married. I think the greatest mistake u ppl did is eloping. Else u shud have eloped to so such a place no one could found out and started a new life. I think its odd to marry ur first cousins and ur children would have risks of many genetic diseases. Now ur married what to do? I would say even if u divorce her her life is spoiled due to this and she will never be the same. I would say talk with all your family that n voice ur opinion like u hv realised wht u did is wrong but in this situation if u leave her she would be no where. so in true sense u wud like to support her and there's no other way of doing. secondly wen u eloped it was ur responsibility to look after her. now with ur emotional drama u are leaving. u r doing same mistake which bhisma pitamaha did with ambalika leaving her nowhere. so be a man, u eloped with her and now its the time to show ur solidarity towards her. ur responsibility towards ur family ended wen u eloped with her.

  6. #21
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    Yes. Life shouldn't be looked in black and white; its many shades of grey. But marriage cousins should be discouraged. Especially the first cousins. 1) its weird[much less with second and third cousins though] 2) your kids will have high chances of having downsyndrome or some shit like that with first cousins. 3) and ofcourse the feelings of family
    And don't look at the example of Albert Einstein Those times were 80 years ago. People used to marry their cousins to save money too.
    Ofcourse initially you will cry, shed tears and stay obsessed with him/her. But if you engage in your day to day normal activities, with time you will be over it. Cold turkey is necessary. Breaking complete contact.

  7. #22
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    According to me there is no harm married to 1st cousin or 2nd. In order to suprem court an adult can married to anybody. If your love is pure you should have live along with your wife. We are not to judge anybody here, whether we accept or not, its our own choice. if your are capable all relatives will accept you. Thus in south 1st cousin marriage is allowed in hindu samajh. in muslim is it is allowed, in china it is too.....so it is differ in place to place no ham in it.
    if your are adultand like each other and got marriage and not just sexuall desire then it is o to me. Love is all important. if your parents loveyou they will accept you or be app to live yur life.

  8. #23
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    sorry bhai .. i think you should save your love and marriage .... and parents will understand and tell them both families to disown you i n newspapers but nt legallly ... nd sooner everything will workout ... and also make a career outside india .... its nt simple and easy but still simplest solution ... and yes its true days kab years ho jayenge u will nvr understand be with love of ur life ...
    p.s. i know its taboo ... but whats done is done ... and dnt look back now .. u have to move forward ,,,,

  9. #24
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    Had it been limited to you and your sister(wife), I think that were okay. But looking at the over all perspective I seriously think you both are going to regret what ever steps you both have taking in 'LOVE'.
    perhaps you both do know this somewhere. People need Society and Family to live a social life. I know I might be sounding like a foolish as you both must have given it a thousand thoughts. But somehow the attraction was way too powerful and both of you couldn't stopped that. Now what about the kids you are going to give birth too. Well my suggestion is solo that since you have over come every issue and gave priority to 'LOVE'. Now better stick to that and never produce any KID. Don't even try to adopt one as that Kid would surely go crazy on knowing the truth and may lead an abnormal life. And one more request dear frnd....make sure there never comes a situation where you both need help from your family, as you might not get that. For you your 'LOVE' mattered the most and you finally got that so feel happy. Why even querying anything here on this forum. We might all find our brother/sister beautiful but laying our hands on them is weird enough to not even being able to think properly the situation you are into. So enjoy life while you can.and we'll pray that God gives enough strength to your family to accept both of you. Try not to have kid..
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .sorry I didn't read it full....well...if separated now...give yourself and her a few years time...who knows later someday in life you both might be smiling on " the crazy days of life"....time will guide you. have patience.
    Last edited by umang123; 20-02-2018 at 01:27 PM.

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by boyofenigma View Post
    According to me there is no harm married to 1st cousin or 2nd. In order to suprem court an adult can married to anybody. If your love is pure you should have live along with your wife. We are not to judge anybody here, whether we accept or not, its our own choice. if your are capable all relatives will accept you. Thus in south 1st cousin marriage is allowed in hindu samajh. in muslim is it is allowed, in china it is too.....so it is differ in place to place no ham in it.
    if your are adultand like each other and got marriage and not just sexuall desire then it is o to me. Love is all important. if your parents loveyou they will accept you or be app to live yur life.
    Quote Originally Posted by dudenitx View Post
    sorry bhai .. i think you should save your love and marriage .... and parents will understand and tell them both families to disown you i n newspapers but nt legallly ... nd sooner everything will workout ... and also make a career outside india .... its nt simple and easy but still simplest solution ... and yes its true days kab years ho jayenge u will nvr understand be with love of ur life ...
    p.s. i know its taboo ... but whats done is done ... and dnt look back now .. u have to move forward ,,,,
    Quote Originally Posted by umang123 View Post
    Had it been limited to you and your sister(wife), I think that were okay. But looking at the over all perspective I seriously think you both are going to regret what ever steps you both have taking in 'LOVE'.
    perhaps you both do know this somewhere. People need Society and Family to live a social life. I know I might be sounding like a foolish as you both must have given it a thousand thoughts. But somehow the attraction was way too powerful and both of you couldn't stopped that. Now what about the kids you are going to give birth too. Well my suggestion is solo that since you have over come every issue and gave priority to 'LOVE'. Now better stick to that and never produce any KID. Don't even try to adopt one as that Kid would surely go crazy on knowing the truth and may lead an abnormal life. And one more request dear frnd....make sure there never comes a situation where you both need help from your family, as you might not get that. For you your 'LOVE' mattered the most and you finally got that so feel happy. Why even querying anything here on this forum. We might all find our brother/sister beautiful but laying our hands on them is weird enough to not even being able to think properly the situation you are into. So enjoy life while you can.and we'll pray that God gives enough strength to your family to accept both of you. Try not to have kid..
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .sorry I didn't read it full....well...if separated now...give yourself and her a few years time...who knows later someday in life you both might be smiling on " the crazy days of life"....time will guide you. have patience.
    Ha saalon, 1.5 saal se wo tumhari salah ke liye hi baitha tha...Ab action lega
    Mere Zakhmon ko teri chuan chahiye,
    Meri shamma ko teri agan chahiye,
    Mere khwabon ke aashiyane me tu chahiye

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