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Thread: Please help

  1. #1
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    Jan 2017
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    Default Please help

    Have been in a relationship since 4years . we were more of best friends than lovers. Everything was fine. Until my bf says that he has no feelings for me. Instead he likes another girl from our college. I hated this because he has been speaking to her since 2months but as friends . He also says that she is not the cause of our break up. I wouldn't have minded it if he had a problem with me. He says I have changed since the last 1.5 yrs.. But I never noticed any change in our relationship. I would know if it changed because he was never of that type that he would act to impress me. When he told me this, I spoke very rudely to him. And said that I did not even want to be friends with him. He was taken aback coz he said how could I just end a 4yrs friendship. But I couldn't bear the fact that he was disloyal to my friendship.. Our families knew each other and were very close . They knew we liked each other but didn't know that we were in a relationship.. they trusted us a lot. I was very happy with him and I knew that love actually existed between us. I have no idea how things suddenly changed. We were so loyal that my friends found it hard to believe the fact that he did this.after the break up he apologized to me and said I can punish him like whatever I want but not that girl. He said he is ready to bear anything.. Still After the break up I gave him many chances to plead to gain my friendship.. he did a few times . But not to an extent to which He should after he hurted me this much .. Now I think he is tired of this . It's been only 1 month and now he constantly keeps telling me that he is madly in love with her and he wants to marry her and things like that. I can't believe my ears as the guy who never told things to me like that in these 4years has said that he wants to marry a girl with whom he has been in a relationship since only 1month.. He never thought how I would feel when he said all this stuff. N now we don't speak to each other. I feel bad that he did this. I don't know whether I did the right thing. And I don't know what to tell my parents.. why did our friendship end? And I have no grudge against that girl.. but this guy I have known for 4years n I pretty sure know wasn't like this.. he really did love me truly for what I am.. we were never physically attached.. he always admits that I was his best friend even after break up.. but he changed slowly over just 1month... I am totally lost why this happened and what will happen in future , how will I face to see them going together in college. Please help

  2. #2
    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Nov 2012
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    He dumped you. It is normal. People dump and get dumped. Move on. Lesson learned.

  3. #3
    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    Apr 2014
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    first he dumped you. but then he did not want to feel guilty for this. but when you did not give him a chance to sort of cover his mistake, his ego was hurt. in his mind, he was like - "kya samajti hai apne aap ko. meri itni bhi badi galti nahi hai phir bhi muje saja de rahi hai". because he wanted out of his guilt at any cost, so his subconscious mind is playing with him. so now he went about hurting you more by rubbing it in your face by telling you about this girl.

    your choice is to keep quiet and let him do what he is doing. just try to ignore, dont lose your patience. he is like a barking dog now, he will bark bark then stop. if you start barking, then you will only end up hurting yourself. there is no good end for you here, keeping quiet is the only way to hurt him more. if you have the patience, you can reply saying - "well, all the best to you. hope your gf treats you the way you treated me". dont give more explanations, or say anything more. if he asks you what you mean or explain, just keep quiet. this will literally make him cry from within and will be a small victory for you. but idea here is to ignore him.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

  4. #4
    SB Legend Lieutenant General hotspicyhot's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
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    Still After the break up I gave him many chances to plead to gain my friendship.. he did a few times . But not to an extent to which He should after he hurted me this much .. Now I think he is tired of this
    You yourself answered. You think only girls have feelings?


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