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Thread: Girl Friend Cheated - Should I trust and marry her?

  1. #1
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    Exclamation Girl Friend Cheated - Should I trust and marry her?

    Madam, please post this query. I have posted it multiple times but it is not getting published. I really need help urgently.

    I am working in an MNC. I am 32 years old male and looking for a suitable match. I fell in love with a girl in my team who is 28 years old. She says that she also loves me. Our families have also talked about marriage. But, recently I got to know that she had some affair kind of thing with another boy in the company who is around 25 years old. She didn't reveal it herself. I got to know it from other sources after which she confirmed that she is in just talks with that guy. But, I found that she is talking till late nights and early mornings which is absoultely abnormal. Also, they have been involved in kissing and all. She said that she has committed a mistake and won't repeat in future. I am really confused that when we were finalizing the marriage then how come she gets involved with other guy. And, on asking she says that she herself don't know the reason. I am totally devasated and not sure what to do now? I know she had some physical relations in the past as well. But, after commitment, i feel she shouldn't do all such things. I am in deep love with her but now getting difficult to trust.

    Please help me out what should I do now.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi! See, if she was just talking to that guy and that too when you both were not serious, then there's nothing to it and you can let it pass. If, however, she was involved even after you two decided to get married, then you can take it more seriously. However, you have to judge how much to trust office gossip. Because you would know very well how things get exaggerated in office and how much to believe and how much to discount.
    The best way out is to really talk to her and try and work it out (which you seem to have done). Once you decide to go ahead with your relationship and put the past to rest, its best that you begin with a clean slate rather than with suspicion.

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    The timing of her acts is really critical here. If you have concrete information (and this should not be office gossip), that she is indulged in any sort of romance after she committed to you, then just confront her and even leave her if you dont feel comfortable. You dont want to base this marriage on mistrust. But if all these acts were from before, then just let go.
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    DIVIDED WE FALL !! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    Yeah don't marry the girl. I'm not sure when the affair happened - past or present. But I can see the girl is confused, and you dont wanna be involved with a confused love triangle.
    I'm in love with your body
    I'm in love with the Shape of You



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    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    If she says that she doesn't know why she has a an affair with the other man even at this stage, she is likely to say the same even if it continues to be an extra marital affair.. Don't marry her..
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

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    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Don't trust her and don't marry her. Although if you find one who has never talked to a guy before, there are still chances she will cheat on you after marriage. So the risk is always here. You can always try to minimize the risk by choosing whatever you think is the best.
    You never know what you can become ..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Madam, please post this query. I have posted it multiple times but it is not getting published. I really need help urgently.

    I am working in an MNC. I am 32 years old male and looking for a suitable match. I fell in love with a girl in my team who is 28 years old. She says that she also loves me. Our families have also talked about marriage. But, recently I got to know that she had some affair kind of thing with another boy in the company who is around 25 years old. She didn't reveal it herself. I got to know it from other sources after which she confirmed that she is in just talks with that guy. But, I found that she is talking till late nights and early mornings which is absoultely abnormal. Also, they have been involved in kissing and all. She said that she has committed a mistake and won't repeat in future. I am really confused that when we were finalizing the marriage then how come she gets involved with other guy. And, on asking she says that she herself don't know the reason. I am totally devasated and not sure what to do now? I know she had some physical relations in the past as well. But, after commitment, i feel she shouldn't do all such things. I am in deep love with her but now getting difficult to trust.

    Please help me out what should I do now.
    the biggest foolish act we boys do is tht wen we r love we give our remote control to the gal. then suddenly realise the remote is same with different batteries n set to different frequency. nothing is finalised until marriage. ask her in a straight tone whts the matter n does she really into marriage. regarding late night or early morning chats, its fine until it is of romantic nature.

  8. #8
    Young Gun visio1's Avatar
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    Are you serious? Once a cheater, always a cheater. Regardless of how much pure milk you feed a snake, the snake will always stay a snake.

    In a nutshell, if you want to ruin your life.. go ahead!

  9. #9
    Young Gun
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    When you are taking biggest decision of your life like marriage please do not keep space for confusion. there is no point in admitting mistake and doing that again and again and she is doing that. Please do not be blind in love... and take good decision

  10. #10
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    When you are taking biggest decision of your life like marriage please do not keep space for confusion. there is no point in admitting mistake and doing that again and again and she is doing that. Please do not be blind in love... and take good decision

  11. #11
    SB Wizard Captain theachiever's Avatar
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    Don't ever ever ever get back with a person who cheated you ........if you want to ensure you are looking for happiness and peace of mind with the right person.....
    Live ur lyf lyk U r the director of a movie.Can’t control 100% ,roll wid the punches as if U were calling the shots.

  12. #12
    SB MahaGuru Colonel
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    i would say try her

  13. #13
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    Considering you already have good reasons to end it with her, you are probably here to find why you shouldn't.

    What's important is if she regrets doing what she did after making a commitment to you. Cheating is quite common these days, but you shouldn't give up on a relationship just because your partner was exploited in a weak moment. After all we all have done something that we are not proud of. If it was an isolated incident I suggest you try to work out things with her, learn from the experience and make sure it doesn't happen again (aka. evolution).

    Good luck.

  14. #14
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    Find another girl.

  15. #15
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    do not marry her at all. Its rightly stated above . "once a cheater always a cheater .. " you will ****e your life up .

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