I am a 30 year old guy. 5 months back, I had met a girl in one of the online dating websites. Luckily, it turned out that we had a few common friends and we immediately hit off. Both of us were looking for a long term commitment, leading to marriage. She was working abroad and she was OK to move to India. Slowly she started taking this conversation from app to whatsapp chats to calls to video calls to meeting in person. We finally met after 2 months. After our meeting, she went back and shared about to me her parents and siblings. She had asked for my horoscope etc and her parents also liked me and horoscope match was also there
A month after we met, I told her that I am OK to take to the next step in terms of marriage and so on. I had explained her during this conversation very honestly on how did I arrive at my decision, what were my misconceptions initially about her, how did I clear them by rationally thinking through and finally what made it click for me. She was very excited and told me she needed some time to think and need to spend a lot of time & space to speak freely with each other to finally make up her mind
Post this, since I knew it is a long distance relationship, I started making extra efforts in terms of going out of the way in terms of accomodating and making time so that we could talk. There were times when she could not be available all the time but I made it a point never to point that out and kept accomodating. Still, we did spend a good amount of time every week over video calls, talking to each other. We also started getting more intimate and closer to each other, without being sexual in our chats and conversations and we started behaving like properly loved up people. A couple of times, she used to tell me I am stuck in her mind and keep sometimes apologizing that in case if she had hurt me unwittingly asking for forgiveness, which was a little bit confusing to me
She has some issues regarding timeline of the wedding which I wanted to happen faster. I had told her we shall discuss this in person when we meet in person. Since both our passports were stuck due to various reasons, we could not plan the third meeting quickly. I wanted the meeting to happen in India as it would be easier for us to meet our parents in case needed.We were trying to work out the dates for the meeting. She had certain dreams and aspirations and things she wanted to do which I had always assured to support her. All in all, almost no friction between us and things were heading along nicely
All of a sudden for about one and half days, she went into silent mode and then next day morning she messages me saying things won't work out between us as our priorities, timelines, very small things which matter to her we are different and ends it there. It was a rude shock to me. I tried calling her, messaging her etc. without abusing her.She stopped picking my calls without blocking me. Her best friend of 16 years who is also my friend's wife to whom she had relayed everything about us also had no clue this was coming. On that day itself, I stopped messaging or reaching out to her. To convey my emotional state, I called up this best friend and told her that whatever happened is fine and asked her to communicate to her that i understood that she needs time and space. Please take the time and in case needed she can reach out to me at any point of time. My friend's wife was sharing to me that she was also shocked at her change of mind as she had always told her that we were heading for marriage. She also hinted that my girl felt i was too strong and would not allow her to thrive freely and started feeling suffocated in the relationship and asked me to be mindful whenever she comes back and told me she is saying she needs more time to make up her mind. Her final words were she will definitely come back and reach out to you
It has been 3 weeks since this happened. I have been in complete No Contact Mode with her. In social media, I see no apparent discomfort in her as she has been travelling around with her friends every weekend
I am very heartbroken over this entire episode and I dunno what exactly to do. I am unable to even rationalize as to why did she feel that way as I have always treated her with utmost respect and care, never pestering or nagging her and I am definitely not someone who is dominating and imposing on my partner wishes. Her friend also shared with me that she is a non confrontational person and does not share things openly. My girl had shared with me her past relationships and in both cases the guys had treated her very shabbily and broken her. Nowhere I had behaved this way. My parents as well used to be very happy that I finally seem to identified my partner. They will also be terribly broken at this turn of events
Please share some thoughts on what I should be doing now
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