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Thread: Am I over reacting ?

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    SB Wizard Captain sam_009's Avatar
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    Default Am I over reacting ?

    Hello Preeto Ma'am !!

    Startingly, I am in relationship for the last 1 year. She was my best friend but now is my GF. Well my problem is that my GF is very outspoken. Past me mujhse ek galti hui thi she caught me on phone while talking to my ex. Actually, one of my friend call me for get together and I didn't know that my ex will also be there. So I accidently met her. While leaving ex was talking to me and my gf just called me and phone pickup ho gaya. She hear our conversation. She thought I am still ditching her but it was not my fault if my ex was there ( I wanted to tell her but uske pehele hi she called me and heared ). From that I am very loyal and honest to her. I tell her everything wheather I am taking to my friend or girl or anything. I tried my best to win her trust. Now she has joined some coarse marketing coarse and there is a teacher who is older to her like 26 years. They both started messaging each other in night. I wanted to ask her but thing is kuch bhi bolu to she always remind me of my past mistake that u have done this to me etc etc. One day I got her mobile and started checking out her messages without knowing her. She saw me and started yelling at me u don't trust me ? Tune jo kaam kia hai tujhe lagta hai me bhi wahi karungi etc. U want to marry me or my mobile enough is enough. Maine har man ke maafi mang li !! But another time I just saw there conversation wo bhi raat ke waqt. I told her ki yar Day me baat karo its ok but raat me is not a professional thing. Par at least raat ka waqt to hamara hota hai why are you messaging or replying to him ? Uss bande ki bhi gf hai . She started saying meri lyf control karne ki koshish mat kar bla bla. And let me tell you Usssne meri sari friends se baat band karva di jo me karta bhi nahi thaa.. Bas ab mujhe ye anxiety attack aate hai. I want to see their conversation but usske gusse se nahi puchta. I have no job nothing. I am loyal and honest to her but she is like me kuch bhi pucho usee to bas mere past ko yaad dila ke guilt feel karvana.

    I just want to get rid out of anxiety attack

    Preeto maam and friends please help me out.

    I have no friends to share

  2. #2
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    relationships are complicated... it all depends on attitude... some people believe privacy is a must some people believe nothing should be hidden! well i am for the second one.. because i believe when two people decided to be with each other and have to be fully with each other.. if you dont have anything to hide you wont mind giving your phone or fb password etc.. be it female or male partner!! i dont understand the concept of space..

    2nd thing is not everyone think like this... the day you got someone who think similar to you you simply got a jackpot and things will flow easily... but unfortunately its very rare!! most of the time partners say they need space bla bla... some give their space so much importance that they decide to leave if you ask them to compromise on this matter!!

    when you get into relationship remember all are new, you are excited and she is excited.. but fools get excited... in fact that the time when you have to refrain from getting excited and focus on setting your relationship rules cleverly. like at the very start you give her your fb password and ask hers ( of course you have to do so too if you want hers) sharing doesnt mean she or he only have to share. both need to be the same!!

    unfortunately in your case its too late to set rules. you will have to let her know that you are sincere and you wont tolerate her talking to others... thats it... if she continue to play with emotions and past.. then threaten to leave.. in fact you will either have to live with your anxiety attacks or leave her if she doesnt cooperate otherwise she will continue to manipulate you.... know that if someone doesnt care you are upset then you are with the wrong person!!!!


    and whats this? she will ask you stop talking to others and she will continue!!! with me its has always be like this, ask me to do something if you are willing to do the same.. if not then get lost!!! it has to be like this... dont let people rule you like this!!

    Last edited by Sweet Mimi; 02-05-2018 at 05:53 PM.
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    SB Wizard Captain sam_009's Avatar
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    Thanks Sweetmini !! But I can't move on. I am just mentally broken down. She always said to me leave me alone I am fine alone etc etc. Than why the hell she give me second chance ? Just to control me or what ? I am broken down from heart. No job nothing no emotional support from family, friends to hai hi nahi aur gf bhi nahi karti !! Whenever me keheta hu mujhe emotional support chahiye tumse she used to say I am not your mother etc etc. Leaving her is not the lesson she will learn. What should I do to get my attitude personality back !! I am 28 years old now

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    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sam_009 View Post
    Thanks Sweetmini !! But I can't move on. I am just mentally broken down. She always said to me leave me alone I am fine alone etc etc. Than why the hell she give me second chance ? Just to control me or what ? I am broken down from heart. No job nothing no emotional support from family, friends to hai hi nahi aur gf bhi nahi karti !! Whenever me keheta hu mujhe emotional support chahiye tumse she used to say I am not your mother etc etc. Leaving her is not the lesson she will learn. What should I do to get my attitude personality back !! I am 28 years old now
    Even i am 28 years old but age doesnt change anything. I understand you. You are already down and looking for support and probably at this point you cannot afford to face any emotional downturn like breakup.

    But dr realise she is already mistreating you. Does that brings you happiness?no its oy giving you sadness. Whats the use of this relationship?

    The day you meet someone who will respect and love you you will remember my words that this girl isnt worth it.

    Leaving her is the only solution. Because she is heartless and rude to you. We humans we thrive for support and love. Somtime we feel we cannot do that but we can. You are simply an emotional person thats why you feel this way. Are you a cancer by zodiac sign? Just curosity by the way you behave.

    I wish i could show u my own querry i posted when i was heart broken few years back. Am a changed person. Changes in life brings changes in you.

    Fo one thing. Dont just focus on her. Know that somewhere her attitude shows she is not sincere to you. There is no point to hold on. What you can do is try make new friends while diminish her importance slowly. Then alowly when you get somone thn try move on and leave her. Dhe already look busy with others. Mark my words. Time for you to know others and befriend to explore other girls.

  5. #5
    SB Wizard Captain sam_009's Avatar
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    Yes I am down ! In fact my family saw me down and they are very tensed also. I can't share with them too otherwise they will misunderstood me. According to zodic sign I am aries and by date I am leo !! Thank you Sweet Mini. I'll definetly try to overcome from this. Once I get a job !!

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    ~PrincE~ Major LuVon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sam_009 View Post
    Thanks Sweetmini !! But I can't move on. I am just mentally broken down. She always said to me leave me alone I am fine alone etc etc. Than why the hell she give me second chance ? Just to control me or what ? I am broken down from heart. No job nothing no emotional support from family, friends to hai hi nahi aur gf bhi nahi karti !! Whenever me keheta hu mujhe emotional support chahiye tumse she used to say I am not your mother etc etc. Leaving her is not the lesson she will learn. What should I do to get my attitude personality back !! I am 28 years old now
    you still not getting Mimi's point bro:
    leaving her is not to teach her a lesson.. but to free urself from a relationship which is giving u nothing but anxiety, n surely has no future if its exactly as u described.
    U say u r morally/mentally n may b financially down bt jst think; this relationship is one of its cause that is affecting u morally.. n u cant high urself being with the one who jst thinks u r jst her playtool (yes, u read it right) as u described above. At least one reason for ur low moral will be gone. I.E. one step ahead to the booster.
    Act Wisely.. kick ur emotions aside n bring ur self esteem up.. which is rule no.1 for moral booster.
    Just You ... Only You

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    SB Guru Major rv102938's Avatar
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    looks like you guys have different wavelengths. she is doubting you, you are doubting her. a good relationship has trust, even if there is mis-understanding. its better for you to move on. if you cannot, then begin to trust her. also, if you remain with her, she is going to take that one thing of your ex-gf for your entire life. can you face that?
    Ek din sher banke jeene se behtar hai do din sher banke jiyo...

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    chirpy angel Lieutenant-Colonel barbiedoll's Avatar
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    If you want your positive attitude back, then you need to focus on your career. At age of 28, you cant afford to sit at home doing nothing. If you are not settled in life, do you think this gf of yours will marry you? Will her parents allow her to get married to you?

    So, sooner or later, if you remain idle without pursuing job, she will leave you.

    Give this relationship a break. Settle in your career first. Dont be creepy in trying to know to whom she is talking to or what she is chatting about. Either trust her or just leave her.

    There is always some insecurity in a relationship. She lost trust in you when she overheard your convo with your ex-gf. Either she is trying to make you jealous by chatting with her teacher or being vengeful. I am sure you would have tried every way possible to convince her that you met your ex accidentally. Now, give some space to this relation and settle financially. That will make you independent and help you take sane decisions for your life.

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    Dactar :) Lieutenant-Colonel Neha1's Avatar
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    You are not settled in your career. I sincerely recommend you to get a good job first. Rest all things will fall in place . As far as I feel talking to her teacher(Day and night) shows that somewhere she wants a backup plan for her future in case you don't settle.
    Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive

  10. #10
    « rahmaniac » Lieutenant-Colonel ariesgirl's Avatar
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    Run... Run as fast as you can, as far as you can. You may not feel it, but being an outsider, I feel like this girl is definitely not worth it. I understand that you are jobless. But don't try to find solace, comfort and support in someone like her. Be your own supporter, comforter and motivator. You will find this girl's attitude uncontrollable once you are settled with a job and doesnt need the so called support system in your life. I feel like you are stuck with this girl because you think no girl would come into your life. Bro, there are a lot of girls in this world. Things will eventually fall in place. And remember, not everyone you lose is a loss.
    Give people roses while they can still smell them. . .

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    ! Badass ! Lieutenant-Colonel ! Stud !'s Avatar
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    Never ever compromise with your self-respect. The more you beg or plead , the more she would take you for granted and it will hamper your self-respect.
    Indeed, you love her, but my friend , had being miserable been a solution , every guy would have been committed .
    Be a man ! You can't control her, but what you can control is your life and attitude towards it. Problem with you guys is that you think below :
    1. My girl is the best girl for me in this world.
    2. She is made for me.
    3. I can ONLY be happy if she will be there in my life.
    4. Career baad me sambhaal lunga, pehle relationship bacha lu .
    5. Ek baar , bas ek baar sab kuch sahi ho jaaye , fir dekhna , life ke har sector me fod daalunga.

    And all the above points are utter crap !

    You're just 28..You have hardly lived 1/3 rd of your life and this is not the end. I am not telling you to completely cutoff with her, but prioritise . Life ka end nahi hai ye in case she walks away ! Life gets better if you strive to achieve what's in your hand. It is a RECORDED HISTORY. Therefore , apne past ke chakkar me apne present ki watt na lagao aur jo future jo ki tumhare present ke actions se kahiiiiiin zyada better ho sakta hai ( I know right now you can't see that , but trust me on this) , uski aisi taisi mat karo.

    Regarding the girl , there is no place of revenge in any relationship. Keep that in mind and again, Face it like a Man !
    Last edited by ! Stud !; 06-05-2018 at 03:22 PM.
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    hummm..........

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    Quote Originally Posted by sam_009 View Post
    Hello Preeto Ma'am !!

    Startingly, I am in relationship for the last 1 year. She was my best friend but now is my GF. Well my problem is that my GF is very outspoken. Past me mujhse ek galti hui thi she caught me on phone while talking to my ex. Actually, one of my friend call me for get together and I didn't know that my ex will also be there. So I accidently met her. While leaving ex was talking to me and my gf just called me and phone pickup ho gaya. She hear our conversation. She thought I am still ditching her but it was not my fault if my ex was there ( I wanted to tell her but uske pehele hi she called me and heared ). From that I am very loyal and honest to her. I tell her everything wheather I am taking to my friend or girl or anything. I tried my best to win her trust. Now she has joined some coarse marketing coarse and there is a teacher who is older to her like 26 years. They both started messaging each other in night. I wanted to ask her but thing is kuch bhi bolu to she always remind me of my past mistake that u have done this to me etc etc. One day I got her mobile and started checking out her messages without knowing her. She saw me and started yelling at me u don't trust me ? Tune jo kaam kia hai tujhe lagta hai me bhi wahi karungi etc. U want to marry me or my mobile enough is enough. Maine har man ke maafi mang li !! But another time I just saw there conversation wo bhi raat ke waqt. I told her ki yar Day me baat karo its ok but raat me is not a professional thing. Par at least raat ka waqt to hamara hota hai why are you messaging or replying to him ? Uss bande ki bhi gf hai . She started saying meri lyf control karne ki koshish mat kar bla bla. And let me tell you Usssne meri sari friends se baat band karva di jo me karta bhi nahi thaa.. Bas ab mujhe ye anxiety attack aate hai. I want to see their conversation but usske gusse se nahi puchta. I have no job nothing. I am loyal and honest to her but she is like me kuch bhi pucho usee to bas mere past ko yaad dila ke guilt feel karvana.

    I just want to get rid out of anxiety attack

    Preeto maam and friends please help me out.

    I have no friends to share
    There are few things in your favor and many things not in your favor. First become self sufficient so that ur gf cant give you the plea of professionalism. Secondly ur conversation with your ex doesnt mean ur unfaithfulness that you should tell ur gf but peeping ur gf's phone is crime. You can request her not to talk to her colleague at night but you cant impose that. the vice-versa is also true for her. relationships are delicate, one wrong move or statement can ruin your life.

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    ohhh................

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    ohhh................

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