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Thread: dirty jokes....

  1. #1
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    Default dirty jokes....

    Dirty Jokes Page


    At Church

    Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
    Priest: "What have you done my child?"

    Girl: "I called a man a son of a *****."
    Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a *****?"

    Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
    Priest: "Like this?" (As he touches her hand)

    Girl: "Yes father."
    Priest: "Thats no reason to call a man a son of a *****."

    Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
    Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

    Girl: : "Yes father."
    Priest:: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a *****."

    Girl: : "Then he took off my clothes,
    father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

    Girl: : "Yes father."
    Priest:"Thats no reason to call him a son of a *****."

    Girl: : "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
    Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

    Girl: : "Yes father."
    Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a *****."

    Girl: : "Then he pumped me fast and furious..."
    Priest: The priest pumps her fast and says "Thats no reason to call him a son of a *****."

    Girl: : "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
    Priest: (after a few minutes): "Ahh... Thats no reason to call him a son of a *****."

    Girl: : "But father he had AIDS!"
    Priest: "THAT SON OF A *****!!!"

  2. #2
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    Breast Milk

    A not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper.
    The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk." "What to write?" he sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

    1. No need to boil.
    2. Never goes sour.
    3. Available whenever necessary.
    So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a fourth answer.

    Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:
    4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.

  3. #3
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    Q: What is the difference between a good secretary & an excellent one?
    A: A good secretary says, "Good morning, sir." & an excellent secretary says, "It's morning, sir."

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    Oye maar diya priest bichaaraa..................

    Post more.............



    Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,
    but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

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    Afridi has the record of century with 37 balls. Tendulkar has scored century with 43 balls.
    But, nobody can beat "Dhritrastra" in Mahabharat, scoring century with 2 balls!!

  6. #6
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    A 12 inch ___

    Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar.

    He didn't have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. "I sure do," he replied while he reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch Bic lighter.

    "Wow!" said his friend, "Where did you get that monster lighter?"

    "I got it from my genie."

    "You have a genie?"

    "Yes, right here in my golf bag."

    "Could I see him?"

    He opens his golf bag and out pops a genie.

    The friend asks the genie, "Since, I'm a good friend of your master, will you grant me one wish?"

    "Yes I will" the genie replies.

    The friend asks the genie for a million bucks.

    The genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing there, waiting for his million bucks.

    Suddenly, the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard.

    The friend tells his golfing partner, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"

    He answers,"I forgot to tell you that the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch Bic?"

  7. #7
    ......salsa...... Colonel smarty_geo's Avatar
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    "I was out cuz i dint remember my password "

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    Sunday Class

    Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

    One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,"Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"

    When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

    "God Almighty !" shouted Mary.

    The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

    A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.

    Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

    "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary.

    The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep.

    Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

    Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

  9. #9
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    Soap dispenser

    Two priests are off to the showers late one night.

    They undress and step into the showers and they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back to the showers.

    He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

    The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

    The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his manhood startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look, says the first nun .....

    'It's a soap dispenser."

    To test her theory the second nun also pulls his tool and sure enough he drops the second bar of soap.

    The third nun decides to have a go.

    She pulls once, then twice...ten times but nothing happens. So she tries once more and to her delight she yells.................. Hand lotion.

  10. #10
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    Misunderstanding

    There were these two twins named Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old fishing boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the very same day that Joe's old boat sank.

    A kindly old woman saw Joe one day, and mistaking him for John said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss, you must feel terrible."

    Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said, "Hell no, in fact I'm sorta glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning.

    Her bottom was all shriveled up, and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water. She had a bad crack in the back, and a pretty big hole in the front. Every time I used her that hole got bigger, and then she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her out to those four guys who were looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyway. The darn fools tried to get in her all at once, and then she split right up the middle...."

    The old woman fainted!


    reply for more.............

  11. #11
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    Room 113

    A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your ***, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you d**k is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."

  12. #12
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    558 view n no reply?????

  13. #13
    !!! Rocker !!! Major reymyst_619's Avatar
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    Oooooosum Bro !!

    Keep adding !!
    ╰დ╮LovE╭დ╯
    !!______619 is b BACK_______!!

  14. #14
    !~ Sexpert ~! Lieutenant-Colonel sexy sam's Avatar
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    ●"Never Say Goodbye"●

  15. #15
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    FOR SHAME! Have some respect for young people who may read these jokes

    You where a child at one time in your life, so imagine that ok!

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