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Thread: angry, abusive husband.....RSA

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Default angry, abusive husband.....RSA

    I am a married lady ,got married 2 years ago, it was an arrange marriage. I am immensly in love with my husband, he is a very practical person. He weighs everything with money in his life. We live in London and I am a Doctor working full time. He never lets me to do many things that I enjoy like learn to drive as it costs money. He controls the finances and I have to ask him even before spending a single pound. All this would not have mattered but he is increasingly getting aggressive and often insults me in public. I am very scared of him. He has made it clear to me many times in an indirect manner that females are to be treated like this. I dont want to seperate as my parents are in Bombay and they will be extremely shattered in case such thing happens. Also, his parents are continuously political, very nice to me in his presence and angry and abusive when I am on my own. I feel that I am unable to cope and dont know what to do! My personality is like I want to end any tension and all the time I go to him to patch up. I am loosing my confidence day by day and finding it hard to cope with life. I feel life is not worth living. Also, he accuses me of having affairs with my colleagues. My husband daily talks to his parents who live in Ahemdabad for atleast half an hour . To aggrevate it, my husband also says bad words about my parents , which is very depressing. I will be thankful if you can post me anyway to deal with it.

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, you don't have it too good, do you? But do not forget that you are a qualified doctor with a degree and you have a job. With that in your hand, you are an empowered woman and can take your decisions because you are not dependeant monetarily on anyone...not your family, not his family and not him. Once you realise that you are not a 'bechari, abla nari' then your attitude will change completely. Feel empowered so that you are on the right track to take the right decisions, which are finally yours to take my dear.As for any other suppoprt you need, we are here and you can write in whenever you like.

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    !ИV!ИÇ!ßLΣ Brigadier General invincible07's Avatar
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    I wonder how an educated lady like u is taking all this without saying anything..........he had made your life hell n making it worse day by day.........ur case is bit similar to my mom's only in my mom's case my father never worked.........coming back to the point such people never change no matter what u do 4 them...........u r losing ur identity because of him............if u keep low now then u'll have to face this throughout ur life n ur children will also suffer like us..........i know it'll be hard 4 u n ur parents but as i see it splitting is the only solution...........its not that u don't love him but its that u won't be able to live with him...........
    Rest is up to u..........
    Bye n takecare

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    New Born koolxxx's Avatar
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    In UK Women have more rights then men. you got to be strong..... and ya do not forget to watch movie "Provoked" this movie is the best example for you and ya in london there are many organizatoion which can solve this ..... its like a piece of cake for them.

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by invincible07 View Post
    I wonder how an educated lady like u is taking all this without saying anything..........he had made your life hell n making it worse day by day.........ur case is bit similar to my mom's only in my mom's case my father never worked.........coming back to the point such people never change no matter what u do 4 them...........u r losing ur identity because of him............if u keep low now then u'll have to face this throughout ur life n ur children will also suffer like us..........i know it'll be hard 4 u n ur parents but as i see it splitting is the only solution...........its not that u don't love him but its that u won't be able to live with him...........
    Rest is up to u..........
    Bye n takecare
    Invincible, thanks for being so upfront and sharing your home experience with this lady to show which direction domestic abuse can go. Its really hard on the person suffering it but it's equally hard on the children who are really too young and bewildered to understand it, let alone do anything about it!!

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    !ИV!ИÇ!ßLΣ Brigadier General invincible07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Invincible, thanks for being so upfront and sharing your home experience with this lady to show which direction domestic abuse can go. Its really hard on the person suffering it but it's equally hard on the children who are really too young and bewildered to understand it, let alone do anything about it!!
    I had seen that all my life that's y i know what she might be going through..............

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