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Thread: hubby not interested in sex...samira

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Default hubby not interested in sex...samira

    hi i am married past 5yrs,i have a happy married life,with the beautiful child,but the problem is tht my husband is not intersted to have sex oftenly which upsets me.wht should i do to get his interst

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, This situation is known as “discrepant libidos”. This is a common cause for sexual dissatisfaction in a relationship. As in all other areas of a relationship, it is extremely important to ‘communicate’ to your husband your sexual desires, albeit in a manner that is not threatening to his ‘manhood’.

    It is best if you communicate your needs to him in a friendly, non-complaining manner, else it could be self-defeating. Avoid sounding demanding, critical , accusatory. A good understanding of each other’s needs through free and frank communication, is key to a fulfilling relationship. Also the openness and readiness to experiment with each other can enhance the sexual pleasure for both. As he is so caring towards you, your communication will further help him to understand you and your needs.

    If there is no proper communication, it inevitably turns into a lose-lose situation. The partner who has the higher sex drive is very likely to feel rejected and hurt when sex does not happen, and the partner with a lower drive feels pressured and resentful at having to perform even when he doesn't feel up to it. Conversely, it can be a situation where both partners make some adjustments. The one with a higher drive needs to understand that everyone is different and naturally have their own drives and whenever they do not jive it should not be taken as personal rejection. Finding ways to seduce the partner and bring him to a state where he could be aroused, could be helpful to bridge the gap. Dealing with one’s own sexual feelings by masturbating is another approach. The partner with the lower drive needs to understand that their partner is not trying to pressure them. Responding to some of the non-sexual cues of the active partner might help them to arrive at a place where they might become interested.

    If your husband responds positively to discussing your sexual relationship, and each other’s likes and dislikes, then you are on your way to solving your problems. One thing you should know is that very few couples intuitively know how to pleasure each other. To create a mutually satisfying and loving sexual relationship takes awareness, openness and knowledge.

    Consulting a sex therapist personally is also recommended, as it will take care of any myths and misconceptions in the minds of either one /both of you, which may be causing the problem.

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    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
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    This seems so odd as most men would be flattered by their partners demand for sex.
    I dont think its much of a job to make a man interested in sex,just think if he were to hire an escort for a night,that escort would find a way to please him because she is getting paid and its her job to please...you are his wife! dont you know your husbands likes and dislikes?

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    i think communication wid your hubby is more important.. but if u want to go n directly talk bout it.. he might not take it in the right spirit (depends upon kind of your relation wid your husband) .. but ya.. wid love n affection ... u can work it out...

    god bless u !!!

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