My husband Wife Swapped Me....Shama

[Preeto Maam]

Dear agony aunt,

I am in agony mentally, please help somebody with good advice. last week, my husband (we are married for four years) took me to a party on Saturday - I was shocked that it was a wife swapping party - everybody was groping everybody, then they drew lots and i was paired off with a younger 30 something man - I was dumb struck throughout, he took me to another room and had his way with me in EVERY way, from all angles, i was dropped off home the next morning - i just don't know what to do or think other than running away.

[Preeto Maam]

So, have you spoken to your husband about this after that? What steps have you taken to address this issue? Running away in a huff is not going to help till you resolve this.
If you want to take a break from your husband and the situation to think matters over, then too you need to discuss it with him or get someone to communicate your disgust and displeasure at being treated in this manner to him.
This is actually about the fact that your husband has not taken your consent before pushing you into something like this. Sex ALWAYS has to be consensual. This behaviour is irresponsible and detracts from your dignity as a human being.
So, now you first think out what you want to do and which direction you want to take. i will certainly suggest that you enlist the support of a family member or a responsible friend who can intervene in this whole matter. They will also provide you with a sounding board of your troubles.
I understand how betrayed you are feeling but before you do anything in panic, consider, realistically, what it is that you WANT!!!

[me_n_she]

too bad , i am shocked to hear these kind of parties are held in india

[ishaanjaisingh]

this is really not done ! you should be speaking with your so called husband on this ! tell him what you feeling about this whole episode and then you have to have certain things if you like to continue with this man

a) do you really love your husband ! inspite he did this to you
b) or can you forget past and be same with him
c) if you can not ! what should be the alternate
d) don't run away from life ! its precious
e) be calm ! think +ve and then decide what you like to do
f) even after all thought you think you can stay back normally with your husband the please go ahead speak with him clear all doubts and not to repeat this in future
g) lastly your husband should not be taking this matter granted you have to speak you heart, tension out to him

[oshnic]

!.Even in India People are getting more and more involve in wife swapping, some hate it some like it, it’s up to you if you like it go for it just say no.

2.I have read what you wrote and also what others before me have wrote back to you. If I was you I would tell your husband that you don't want to. Tell him about all the different diseases you both could get. If he still says he wants to do it, say "Hey! Maybe we ought to talk to our parents about this first! Let's get their opinion." I think he will change his tune.

[M-V-]

I think this women is lying just to fulfill HER own little secret fantasy. If she didn't want such things, then all she had to say was 'NO'. Shame on you and keep dreaming darling....hopefully it'l get u somewhere (even if its the wrong way)!

[passion_unlimitedd]

I think this women is lying just to fulfill HER own little secret fantasy. If she didn't want such things, then all she had to say was 'NO'. Shame on you and keep dreaming darling....hopefully it'l get u somewhere (even if its the wrong way)!

I guess u r right because if she is not ready for swapping she would have protested. she would have made hue and cry there or would have walked out of that party.

[oshnic]

I think this women is lying just to fulfill HER own little secret fantasy. If she didn't want such things, then all she had to say was 'NO'. Shame on you and keep dreaming darling....hopefully it'l get u somewhere (even if its the wrong way)!

I guess u r right because if she is not ready for swapping she would have protested. she would have made hue and cry there or would have walked out of that party.

i dont agree with u both..


its India meri jaan.

wife never protest infront of her hubby.

[saabji]

actually these things happns!!!!
im surprized

[M-V-]

Oshnic we live in 2008 my friend. The couple, I assume, are modern enough to go to a party but the wife is not that liberal enough to say NO. What bullshit! We live in country in which a women protects her 'izzaat' with umost importance and will only give to sex when she is happy. You know this is fake man!

[theoder]

ohh my god the gal should be very happy indeed i think, becos no man in INDIA as far as i know will be ready to swapp his wife, if he wants to have sex he will go out and F*uck a dozen prosti*tutes , so gal be happy ur husband is great... gals cud only dream of having such husbands and u hav him in real sooo enjoyyyy

REGARDs

[gagz!]

shocked...........

[Lisbonstar28]

Dear agony aunt,

I am in agony mentally, please help somebody with good advice. last week, my husband (we are married for four years) took me to a party on Saturday - I was shocked that it was a wife swapping party - everybody was groping everybody, then they drew lots and i was paired off with a younger 30 something man - I was dumb struck throughout, he took me to another room and had his way with me in EVERY way, from all angles, i was dropped off home the next morning - i just don't know what to do or think other than running away.

You need to elaborate a little more on what it is that you now wish to do, up until then i cant see how anyone in here can pass forward any solution or sound advice that may be beneficial for you.
Do you want to leave your husband?
Do you want to re-form him?
Do you want help on how to deal with your trauma?
Do you want advice on lodging a complaint to the local authorities for rape and the fore and aftermath?
Or are your concerns now more related to sexual health.Do decide and let us know.

[visionary_rahul]

See the creator of first 2 threads

[skala]

To the person who said she is making it up or fantazing--SHAME ON YOU.
I think the person who wrote to agony aunt about her being swapped is in India. I have heard people saying there are wife swapping parties going on in India quite a lot. I live in the US, and am a north indian. But I have heard from very reliable sources that this practice goes on during the weekend get togethers of gujarati motel owners specially from Surat, where the men upon entering the party venue drop the car keys in a basket, then when they leave they just dig in and pick up one set of keys and they drive off with the car and the car owner's wife , next day mostly the wife is sent back with the car and herself. I am not suggesting this happens only among Gujaratis, but the few incidents that were narrated were from this group. I also have met one woman who was so angry with her husband for subjecting her to this crap, that next day when she went to her home, she not only berated him for this crap, but also decided to leave him for this new man, and actually told her spouse -that his new person was better than him anyway. Today they are happily married past several years, and needless to say dont attend get togethers of this nature anymore. I was totally shocked and disgusted when it was validated that it was true and actually happening. In this day and age, what kind of anima behavior is this, what about the effect on their children. Most of these women are uneducated and have no other recourse to rebel and avoid this atrocities by their own husbands. It is really sic.