Bf says I don't arouse him

[Jenna]

Helo maam i discussed about my bf being selfish by character and all.... we are nowadays living well except some small complaints towards each other... but recently i felt tired experiencing his selfish acts.... if he is angry he says he must hurt me to feel better and all... for e.g he may pinch me very hard...

And i started tell him i do all i can for you.. i crave for your happiness.. but wen i see you character and feel sad for myself the way you treat me do you realise a bit!! he said he'll try bring some change...

but after a while itself he said you r not the only one unhappy... wen we r physically together.. its always me who take initiatives.... but maam i always view things as normally boys are the predator and they rule so i feel a bit awkward to take steps first... and also i told him once i like to make him want me...and crave it make me feel good!! but wen i told him that he smilled.. today he complain about that.

Am feeling he just tried brought up a situation where i can stop complain and will consider his comlain since wen i complained i said i keep you happy in all sence what about me..(but am not sure) the extent i know him make me feel that sometime.

Maam he said me that i never get him arouse, it always that he use me to get arouse.. he said he never had a time where i get him arouse but he always touch me give me pleasure and its like this that he get arouse.

Maam i dont know much about sex.. what to do to get him arouse? what act i should do! its my first bf that am physically involve. he too says am the first one he is physically involve.

usually i touch him down when am sure he already got a hardon. Once i touch him he didnt had hardon, i felt awkward to feel my guy not hard there..so i decided then time i'll go there when i will be sure he is ready. but two times happened when when in my waiting for him to get arouse, he has to took my hand himself and put in his pants.. he says that how many times i should do this?? i feel bad asking for it... have you realise how i touch your ***** and i dont enuf in return.

i told him since i went there and you were not hard i prefered to wait. he said thats it its alwez me who has to get myself arouse by myself. that hardon i get it by myself you do nothing. I was shocked wen i said him i dont know much about sex i never ever tried make a guy arouse. he said return back when you know then.. i was shocked. even told him if you not happy i leave the decision on you if you think you can find a perfect girl then go ahead. i'll suffer but its okk.. its better to digest the fact you have got so many problems with me! he then said stop talking nonsence okk...then i stopped.

we do it in hidden place in college and there are also lots of fears in heart and have to be beware. That day i also for the first time he **** me and i also took his pe nis in my mouth. he was happy but then i told him l wanted it after we get engage because i must be sure am marrying you i feel we went for it too soon. at times am feeling if he complained it was because he got angry i said this. he is very ego and selfish thats y i think like this. but it can be also he is really dispointed that i usually wait him to do things first.

Because i didnt like anal.. he was upset when once he tried finger me there and i stopped him said this act dont depicts love. and the first time also he tried to finger me there he was angry and did this out of anger. but then he got upset when i said even before i viewed anal not something of love. he said am 21 i already know my whole life i'll never experience it. he said me its okk dont worry i'll adjust but later said me am so sad and all i feel frustrated then slowly i manage to chnage the way i think about anal. and let him fingered me. i feel he influence me emotionally for that but i didnt said anything.. since his happiness counts for me.

today he sayd i dont get him arouse.. another complain what do i do maam. he said that i do all for you, you get arouse because i touch you everywhere in your pants. i said him but its a game of mind me too i have to play with my mind then when you touch me i get arouse. i dont know what i should do to get boy arouse. how to get him a hardon?

Maam am very unaware since i never experience too much of things in my life. tell me maam what i should do to get him arouse. i dont know.. i really dont know much about sex.. tell me some ways. and maam what you think about my relationship situation? i sometimes dont know what to do! i feel lost at times.

[Preeto Maam]

Hi Jenna,

First and foremost, if the guy is hurting you, emotionally or physically, then you need to take a look at the relationship. Its somehow not looking like a very complete relationship to me.

Secondly, s far as the sex part of it goes, well, you can certainly take the initiative sometimes. Its perfectly OK to show your desire and eagerness for your man. So even if he is not in a state of *****ion, you can certainly help to get him that way. Giving each other pleasure is both your responsibility, not his alone. In India girls are under the impression that their pleasure as well as that of their partner's is HIS responsibility. That's a myth. So, there you can make some changes.

You also need to work on the overall health of this relationship. There are too many complaints with each other. Work on cultivating the love and the togetherness.

[PARYANS]

i think having sex is not a competition first of all so both of u should discuss n do whatever excites both of u.go ahead n do it.enjoy sex n stop arguing

[Jenna]

Yes maam thank you for reply! but maam how do i get him arouse??? if a guy is not hard i touch his pe nis will he get arouse???? or do i need to touch his *** or what??? i felt like doing so many times but i didnt dont know how would he feel!! can he get arouse by touching and playing with his a s s???

[Jenna]

Plz can anyone help me.. i need urgent tips of how to take initiatives for sex... what acts i can do which can make my bf arouse plzz. i wanted to get some tips. tommorow i will meet my bf so i need some urgent tips.

[castrator]

First of all never meet with a mind of having sex!!! Just think you are going to meet him to have some good time... and nice chats...

whenever He arrives, let him relax first.... start some discussion which you both love to share and laugh together.... it may be anything... your past hiccups... some embarrassing but funny incidents... avoid talking future... because it again will occupy his mind.. .. the more natural it is... the better it is... give him a warm small kiss.. and wait... if he comes back... make it extend... nothing can be more arousing for guys than a passionate kiss... and just for one day let him relax and don't let him involve initially and do all that he use to do with you........ Give it a best try. and if still he complaints!.... He is not at all in love with you.... tell him to get lost....... There will be 100 better guys who can love you more than him...better than him and without complaining.... and don't even think of marrying this guy in your rarest dream.... He will make your life hell... if He is so complaining at this stage only... He seems just a sexcoholic guy with a ****ed up mind...

Tell him to get out of your lie if He remains still complaining...

[puri15]

i have nothing to say abt ur relationship...
as far as wt u asked. here are some tips which i m sure ur guy will love.
gently nab his lips with ur lips.
run ur fingers down his chests.
smooch as much as possible.
put ur hand down his pants n grab her balls, it will definetely heat him up.
slowly move his pe*** n kiss him

[a_decent_1]

Originally Posted by Jenna

Helo maam i discussed about my bf being selfish by character and all.... we are nowadays living well except some small complaints towards each other... but recently i felt tired experiencing his selfish acts.... if he is angry he says he must hurt me to feel better and all... for e.g he may pinch me very hard...

And i started tell him i do all i can for you.. i crave for your happiness.. but wen i see you character and feel sad for myself the way you treat me do you realise a bit!! he said he'll try bring some change...

but after a while itself he said you r not the only one unhappy... wen we r physically together.. its always me who take initiatives.... but maam i always view things as normally boys are the predator and they rule so i feel a bit awkward to take steps first... and also i told him once i like to make him want me...and crave it make me feel good!! but wen i told him that he smilled.. today he complain about that.

Am feeling he just tried brought up a situation where i can stop complain and will consider his comlain since wen i complained i said i keep you happy in all sence what about me..(but am not sure) the extent i know him make me feel that sometime.

Maam he said me that i never get him arouse, it always that he use me to get arouse.. he said he never had a time where i get him arouse but he always touch me give me pleasure and its like this that he get arouse.

Maam i dont know much about sex.. what to do to get him arouse? what act i should do! its my first bf that am physically involve. he too says am the first one he is physically involve.

usually i touch him down when am sure he already got a hardon. Once i touch him he didnt had hardon, i felt awkward to feel my guy not hard there..so i decided then time i'll go there when i will be sure he is ready. but two times happened when when in my waiting for him to get arouse, he has to took my hand himself and put in his pants.. he says that how many times i should do this?? i feel bad asking for it... have you realise how i touch your ***** and i dont enuf in return.

i told him since i went there and you were not hard i prefered to wait. he said thats it its alwez me who has to get myself arouse by myself. that hardon i get it by myself you do nothing. I was shocked wen i said him i dont know much about sex i never ever tried make a guy arouse. he said return back when you know then.. i was shocked. even told him if you not happy i leave the decision on you if you think you can find a perfect girl then go ahead. i'll suffer but its okk.. its better to digest the fact you have got so many problems with me! he then said stop talking nonsence okk...then i stopped.

we do it in hidden place in college and there are also lots of fears in heart and have to be beware. That day i also for the first time he **** me and i also took his pe nis in my mouth. he was happy but then i told him l wanted it after we get engage because i must be sure am marrying you i feel we went for it too soon. at times am feeling if he complained it was because he got angry i said this. he is very ego and selfish thats y i think like this. but it can be also he is really dispointed that i usually wait him to do things first.

Because i didnt like anal.. he was upset when once he tried finger me there and i stopped him said this act dont depicts love. and the first time also he tried to finger me there he was angry and did this out of anger. but then he got upset when i said even before i viewed anal not something of love. he said am 21 i already know my whole life i'll never experience it. he said me its okk dont worry i'll adjust but later said me am so sad and all i feel frustrated then slowly i manage to chnage the way i think about anal. and let him fingered me. i feel he influence me emotionally for that but i didnt said anything.. since his happiness counts for me.

today he sayd i dont get him arouse.. another complain what do i do maam. he said that i do all for you, you get arouse because i touch you everywhere in your pants. i said him but its a game of mind me too i have to play with my mind then when you touch me i get arouse. i dont know what i should do to get boy arouse. how to get him a hardon?

Maam am very unaware since i never experience too much of things in my life. tell me maam what i should do to get him arouse. i dont know.. i really dont know much about sex.. tell me some ways. and maam what you think about my relationship situation? i sometimes dont know what to do! i feel lost at times.

Hey,

By what you have mentioned, even the dumbest of person would tell you that this guy is obsessed with Sex... !! He wants you to perform when you know nothing about it.

A Boy-friend who loves his Girl would never ask her to "come back and she knows it" . Infact, most of them would be happy to have an innocent girl.

The reactions of your BF show "frustration" which comes out of lack of Sex. A guy who Loves her GF would never have this kinda frustration. Especially when you're doing it at a public place.

When it comes down to "you" and "Me" .. "I" do this, "You" don't do this.. It's an Alarm..!! Girl, Get out of this relationship as soon as possible. This guy "either" wants only sex "or" he is too sex obsessed to be yourz forever.

G'day

[atiqsyedpk]

oh very long story

[Jenna]

Originally Posted by a_decent_1

Hey,

By what you have mentioned, even the dumbest of person would tell you that this guy is obsessed with Sex... !! He wants you to perform when you know nothing about it.

A Boy-friend who loves his Girl would never ask her to "come back and she knows it" . Infact, most of them would be happy to have an innocent girl.

The reactions of your BF show "frustration" which comes out of lack of Sex. A guy who Loves her GF would never have this kinda frustration. Especially when you're doing it at a public place.

When it comes down to "you" and "Me" .. "I" do this, "You" don't do this.. It's an Alarm..!! Girl, Get out of this relationship as soon as possible. This guy "either" wants only sex "or" he is too sex obsessed to be yourz forever.

G'day

Feel heavy heart to read your comments dear friend!! because as you saying he is frustrated its true.. he said me himslef he is frustrated. He said he cant live without sex in anger...

well we did had a time together.. and am happy i satisfied him. I gave him oral sex and he really like it and not complaining. though i was quite afraid its too much in public.. i feel really afraid... i dont feel at ease there but i dont tell him anything bkoz he will start feel irritated with me!

He said his day was wow... and am happy to hear it. He gave me oral too but he doesnt know i did enjoy but i think not fully. Am thinking may be i kept in mind i have to satisfy him he complain and all which preventing me enjoy now. He do care about my pleasure as he kept asking me have you like and all. but i cant tell him i did not as i was in past. am afraid if i will lose my sex urges slowly due to fear and frustration. because i was happy to discover myself having high sex urges which was making me very horny. i dont want to lose them. but am unable to bring it fully also may be because my mind is disturb while having sex now.. and remember how he told me go and learn then cme back.

i was learning slowly... till now i have learn lots of things with him.. i didnt know much. i feel afraid to read such comments because i do all to make this relationship good, but at times feel am tired now cant do more let what happen to happen now.

but am happy for only 1 thing. Wen last time we had oral he was asking me to have his cum in my mouth. but i refused. since am not at ease with it. i thought he would force me. he did try to tell me again and again but lastly said okk.. let it be i will tell you before i cum. if may be he forced me to swallow it or force me or show me he is frustrated i didnt did what he wanted i promiced myself i will leave this relationship. thank god he didnt showed me he is a porn addicted and will do all whats there. if that day he made my day miserable i think i wouldnt have courage to continue this relationship because he doesnt know to what extent am frustrated too with his behaviour.. i told him you r lucky you got someone who cant see you low and frustrated. am living with my frustration.

but thank god have seen some changes recently which encourage me and console my heart he do loves me trulely. i hope i have patience to carry on.. i do love him a lot am working for this relationship till i can. but am a human too i do feel low like he feel. i feel for other reasons he feel for other reasons.. but m happy am able to put away his frustration slowly! though he dont take my frustration too much into consideration!

[a_decent_1]

Originally Posted by Jenna

Feel heavy heart to read your comments dear friend!! because as you saying he is frustrated its true.. he said me himslef he is frustrated. He said he cant live without sex in anger...

well we did had a time together.. and am happy i satisfied him. I gave him oral sex and he really like it and not complaining. though i was quite afraid its too much in public.. i feel really afraid... i dont feel at ease there but i dont tell him anything bkoz he will start feel irritated with me!

He said his day was wow... and am happy to hear it. He gave me oral too but he doesnt know i did enjoy but i think not fully. Am thinking may be i kept in mind i have to satisfy him he complain and all which preventing me enjoy now. He do care about my pleasure as he kept asking me have you like and all. but i cant tell him i did not as i was in past. am afraid if i will lose my sex urges slowly due to fear and frustration. because i was happy to discover myself having high sex urges which was making me very horny. i dont want to lose them. but am unable to bring it fully also may be because my mind is disturb while having sex now.. and remember how he told me go and learn then cme back.

i was learning slowly... till now i have learn lots of things with him.. i didnt know much. i feel afraid to read such comments because i do all to make this relationship good, but at times feel am tired now cant do more let what happen to happen now.

but am happy for only 1 thing. Wen last time we had oral he was asking me to have his cum in my mouth. but i refused. since am not at ease with it. i thought he would force me. he did try to tell me again and again but lastly said okk.. let it be i will tell you before i cum. if may be he forced me to swallow it or force me or show me he is frustrated i didnt did what he wanted i promiced myself i will leave this relationship. thank god he didnt showed me he is a porn addicted and will do all whats there. if that day he made my day miserable i think i wouldnt have courage to continue this relationship because he doesnt know to what extent am frustrated too with his behaviour.. i told him you r lucky you got someone who cant see you low and frustrated. am living with my frustration.

but thank god have seen some changes recently which encourage me and console my heart he do loves me trulely. i hope i have patience to carry on.. i do love him a lot am working for this relationship till i can. but am a human too i do feel low like he feel. i feel for other reasons he feel for other reasons.. but m happy am able to put away his frustration slowly! though he dont take my frustration too much into consideration!

Jenna,

What you have failed to understand is that "He should be able to live without sex" ..!! How long can a relationship based on Sex survive..? How long will you "Give in" ..?

Suppose someday you are too tired to have sex.. Then what...? How long will you have Forced sex..? Trust me, not more than a month.. !!

A relationship should be based on "Love" and "Respect" and "TRUST ME" there is "No respect" in your relationship. He does not respect you.. If he did, he would have never talked the way he did.. !!

What I am trying to make you understand is that the kind of obsession he is showing is actually "Dangerous" ..!! I cannot believe a man in "True Love" would want all this and in the way he does. I still can't get over the "Learn and come back" thing..!! That's too Gross for a Lover.

Please think Twice, actually Thrice before giving in to him...!! SEX is meant to be an "expression of love" , not something you are "Forced into" ..!!

Answer this :- Do you feel "Love" while having sex..?

G'day

[Jenna]

Originally Posted by a_decent_1

Jenna,

What you have failed to understand is that "He should be able to live without sex" ..!! How long can a relationship based on Sex survive..? How long will you "Give in" ..?

Suppose someday you are too tired to have sex.. Then what...? How long will you have Forced sex..? Trust me, not more than a month.. !!

A relationship should be based on "Love" and "Respect" and "TRUST ME" there is "No respect" in your relationship. He does not respect you.. If he did, he would have never talked the way he did.. !!

What I am trying to make you understand is that the kind of obsession he is showing is actually "Dangerous" ..!! I cannot believe a man in "True Love" would want all this and in the way he does. I still can't get over the "Learn and come back" thing..!! That's too Gross for a Lover.

Please think Twice, actually Thrice before giving in to him...!! SEX is meant to be an "expression of love" , not something you are "Forced into" ..!!

Answer this :- Do you feel "Love" while having sex..?

G'day

Yes friend to some extent you keep me thinking, i feel afraid by all what you telling me you know!! but as far as your question.. yes i do feel loved because while doing sex and in the end he give me forehead kisses.. he bow in front of me say i love you on his knees. he kiss my feet.. even hug my feet.. he put his head on my feet and tell me i love you.... so i do feel love... He do care for me... in some ways.. but like you mentioning he also said things a bit harsh... and its not that i force myself.. i do it for love with him... i said him, i will preserve my virginity and he said yes too... he dont ask me for that and keep it after marriage!

[a_decent_1]

Originally Posted by Jenna

Yes friend to some extent you keep me thinking, i feel afraid by all what you telling me you know!! but as far as your question.. yes i do feel loved because while doing sex and in the end he give me forehead kisses.. he bow in front of me say i love you on his knees. he kiss my feet.. even hug my feet.. he put his head on my feet and tell me i love you.... so i do feel love... He do care for me... in some ways.. but like you mentioning he also said things a bit harsh... and its not that i force myself.. i do it for love with him... i said him, i will preserve my virginity and he said yes too... he dont ask me for that and keep it after marriage!

Hmmm,

So, that's the complete story..!! You should have told us this before..!! How old are you guys..? That's very important.. !! Kindly mention.

Look, Jenna, I don't wanna frighten you.. That's all my experiance..!! It may work the other way for you. But, the point of "Respect" still remains..!! A guy needs to hold a woman "High" .. That tells about his character. It is very easy to "Dominate" women. They are actually emotional-puppets.. !! A few emotional words can make any woman go crazy. True man is one who does not misuse these emotions and holds a girl's Prestige high.

I am happy that you feel loved while having sex BUT sexual fetish should be limited. I can understand ur BF wants to experiment, but "Not at the cost of your relationship" .. !! Phrases like "I cannot like without sex" dont reflect much good about ur character.

All in All, You are the best Judge.

Plz mention your age and period of your relationship.

Thanks for the Reps.

G'day

[Jenna]

Originally Posted by a_decent_1

Hmmm,

So, that's the complete story..!! You should have told us this before..!! How old are you guys..? That's very important.. !! Kindly mention.

Look, Jenna, I don't wanna frighten you.. That's all my experiance..!! It may work the other way for you. But, the point of "Respect" still remains..!! A guy needs to hold a woman "High" .. That tells about his character. It is very easy to "Dominate" women. They are actually emotional-puppets.. !! A few emotional words can make any woman go crazy. True man is one who does not misuse these emotions and holds a girl's Prestige high.

I am happy that you feel loved while having sex BUT sexual fetish should be limited. I can understand ur BF wants to experiment, but "Not at the cost of your relationship" .. !! Phrases like "I cannot like without sex" dont reflect much good about ur character.

All in All, You are the best Judge.

Plz mention your age and period of your relationship.

Thanks for the Reps.

G'day

Am 20 years old and my bf is 21. Well our relationship is not long ago, its only about 8 months! he do cares in other ways, yes its true i have been mentioning only his bad parts but its also true his good part is limited... our relationship is known to his parents as well as mine. there r things he does shows he do care for me for e.g his dad plan to buy a sofa set so he ask for my choice and tell me i love you, so if we get married you should like your house i wish i give you all comforts. He always keep something in bag to eat for me because he knows at any time i can feel hungry in class.. we r together everyday since we r in same class.. whole day we stay together and twice a week we get opportunity to be a bit physical... the story is like this..

but feel afraid.. i love him.. i feel like crying because if its true he is sex addicted and using me for that i will die inside... sex is important for me too but it will hurt to know he has such a mentality...

you know what you saying emtional thing and all, am a very very emotional and sensitive girl.. and what you saying, he does that, he misuse my emotions and he says frankly, if i know your weakness i'll use it am not someone who will let go... he says he is a selfish person!! you know reading your advise make me feel sad, y my bf, i love him so much sacrificing all i can for him,loving him, dont think like this!! sometime i think he lack values since he is away from religion... and sometime feeling he is a porn addicted!! but one thing, i feel there has been a change koz he knows i dont like anal too much, last time since we had oral, he was happy during that time he ask me can i finger you anal am feeling like.. i wont hurt you... i said okk be gentle but he went there dont know what happen he didnt fingered me... it do depicts something to me!!

he says me i respect you in my own ways.. i know how to respect you!! its not that i dont respect you!!

you r welcome dear you deserve the rep!

[a_decent_1]

Originally Posted by Jenna

Am 20 years old and my bf is 21. Well our relationship is not long ago, its only about 8 months! he do cares in other ways, yes its true i have been mentioning only his bad parts but its also true his good part is limited... our relationship is known to his parents as well as mine. there r things he does shows he do care for me for e.g his dad plan to buy a sofa set so he ask for my choice and tell me i love you, so if we get married you should like your house i wish i give you all comforts. He always keep something in bag to eat for me because he knows at any time i can feel hungry in class.. we r together everyday since we r in same class.. whole day we stay together and twice a week we get opportunity to be a bit physical... the story is like this..

but feel afraid.. i love him.. i feel like crying because if its true he is sex addicted and using me for that i will die inside... sex is important for me too but it will hurt to know he has such a mentality...

you know what you saying emtional thing and all, am a very very emotional and sensitive girl.. and what you saying, he does that, he misuse my emotions and he says frankly, if i know your weakness i'll use it am not someone who will let go... he says he is a selfish person!! you know reading your advise make me feel sad, y my bf, i love him so much sacrificing all i can for him,loving him, dont think like this!! sometime i think he lack values since he is away from religion... and sometime feeling he is a porn addicted!! but one thing, i feel there has been a change koz he knows i dont like anal too much, last time since we had oral, he was happy during that time he ask me can i finger you anal am feeling like.. i wont hurt you... i said okk be gentle but he went there dont know what happen he didnt fingered me... it do depicts something to me!!

he says me i respect you in my own ways.. i know how to respect you!! its not that i dont respect you!!

you r welcome dear you deserve the rep!

Don't be sad honey. Last thing I want is to make someone "Sad" with my advice...!! As I told you, I may plainly be wrong. That's just my experiance with life.

As for sex, 8 months is a Little too early. but, since you are 20, I'd buy that. I see a lot of positives from what you have mentioned in your last post. Especially the "Sofa" thing. And I also like the fact that your Parents know about your relationship.

Jenna, You just need to be careful. Don't let your emotions make you weak. At 21, I can understand his Sex urges. I am just saying he should respect you and control them.

You can be plain Straght-Forward and tell him "NO" for something you don't like. If he can take a "No" from you, that is what "Respect" is.. !!

I really hope I am wrong about this one.. !! I hope he is the Right guy.

G'day