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Facing a very complicated situation

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  • Facing a very complicated situation

    I am a 45yr old widow with 2 children, son is 20 while my daughter is 17. My son is a 3rd year engineering student while my daughter has appeared for her class 12 boards. i have taken up working since past 4yrs after my husband passed away in a car crash. Just this week, i stumbled upon something which has sent my life upside down. i caught my son and daughter totally nude in their room while they were making out. I was shocked beyond belief when my son told me that this was going on for well over 5 months when i was away at work. what has caused me more consternation is that my daughter confessed that it was she who initiated this with my son. Neither of them had any guilt feelings about doing this and they both are repeatedly trying to convince me to let this be as it is since it was a totally consensual decision between them. My son is saying that instead of doing it with someone from outside, with no one any the wiser, it is better if they get outlet for their pent up sexual energies within the 4 walls of the house. They know all about contraceptives etc and have been taken adequate precautions like using a condom or an i-pill whenever they have done actual intercourse. While initially, I was distraught as any mother would be seeing her children indulge in something like this, of late I have been forced to think on what my children are saying. I can't tell about this to anyone in my extended family either my in-laws and my own parents are very conservative and all hell would break lose if anyone else came to know of it. Both my children are insisting that they have been and will continue to remain very careful, and that I should let them continue. I am caught in two minds as to how best to advice them. Should I just let them be with advice that my son should not knock up his sister pregnant?

  • #2
    Ooooohhhh my God That's really tough.
    be careful and humbly deal the situation

    Comment


    • #3
      You are indeed in a piquant situation. What I felt from reading your post and your subsequent way of looking at the whole matter concerning both your adolescent children, I think you may just let them as it is with strict instructions to both of them that they can continue this with all the necessary precautions of safe sex. While this may seem blasphemous to many, the fact is that incest is not what it was two or three centuries ago. Incest was prohibited/frowned upon because those days sex was used primarily as a procreation means, while in the last 25-30yrs, it has become a means of recreation. So as long as your son & daughter don't end up with any after effects & practice it safely, I guess it should be ok. Your son is already an adult while your daughter would turn 18 soon & its a consensual relation between them with no exploitation, coercion or threat of blackmail. So I think its ok for them to be happy with each other. You as a parent can keep a regular tab on them just to ensure, no mishaps happen. I don't know whether this site will publish my reply because it goes against social norms and taboo, but I still feel this would be best way to deal.

      Comment


      • #4
        First of all 99% this post is fake. Let's say even 1% what you are saying/writing is correct. Here are my thoughts.

        1. You know that your son is rapist right? Because he is sleeping with his own sister who is minor. (Even your daughter gave her consent still it will be consider illegal)
        2. After you found out and did not file the complain/took legal actions against your son that means you are also committed crime. You are also equally responsible for your son's act.
        3. Do you have any proof that your daughter really gave her consent to your son? Who knows he threat her and force her. Who knows he corrupted her mind OR manipulate her brain.
        4. Did you try to send your daughter OR son to send either your parents house OR your in laws house in order to keep them away from each other?
        5. Did you talk to your daughter alone when your son is not home to find out the truth?
        6. By now you and your son should be in jail for life time for committing crime with minor. (your daughter)
        7. Way I reading your post - not only your daughter gave consent to her brother but you as a mother also gave consent to your son. So you are telling that whatever he is doing is ethical and legal. Seriously what's wrong with you.
        8. I feel sorry for your daughter and I have zero sympathy for you and your son. Shame on you.
        9. Don't blame you parents/In laws that they are conservative because you did not even brought up this problem with them. I can give you guarantee that they will take harsh actions against your son that's why you don't want to talk to them.

        I am sure all other board members will not be agree with my above thoughts. Above are my opinion.

        Comment


        • #5
          Given age group (20 and 17) .. however makes the girl minor.. but still she understands what is going on and what she is doing. Incest can not be justified though and i feel very sorry for your situation... However, most of your story seems to be taken from dirty website of dirty stories.... Still I am writing a response thinking that it might be a true case.


          Children's must be feeling alone when their father passed away ... they were left alone and had each-other and the house to themselves most of the time. Also the sexual hormones of this age group and current environment is to be blamed (where everyone has smart phones and access to porn ).... when sunny leone came to bollywood nobody thought that the 10 year old kids are also going to search porn on the internet. It somehow damaged the mind of an innocent child. it killed their innocence.

          whatever done is done it can not be changed. Just separate your children.. warn them .. threat them.. emotionally black mail them.. manipulate them to stop doing this /pursuing this relationship. Separate them by sending boy to somewhere else. find out where things went wrong ? does your daughter wear revealing dresses at home? Do they have a common room? from where did sexual tension came?

          Marry your daughter as soon as she reaches age and completes education....

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Guest View Post
            I am a 45yr old widow with 2 children, son is 20 while my daughter is 17. My son is a 3rd year engineering student while my daughter has appeared for her class 12 boards. i have taken up working since past 4yrs after my husband passed away in a car crash. Just this week, i stumbled upon something which has sent my life upside down. i caught my son and daughter totally nude in their room while they were making out. I was shocked beyond belief when my son told me that this was going on for well over 5 months when i was away at work. what has caused me more consternation is that my daughter confessed that it was she who initiated this with my son. Neither of them had any guilt feelings about doing this and they both are repeatedly trying to convince me to let this be as it is since it was a totally consensual decision between them. My son is saying that instead of doing it with someone from outside, with no one any the wiser, it is better if they get outlet for their pent up sexual energies within the 4 walls of the house. They know all about contraceptives etc and have been taken adequate precautions like using a condom or an i-pill whenever they have done actual intercourse. While initially, I was distraught as any mother would be seeing her children indulge in something like this, of late I have been forced to think on what my children are saying. I can't tell about this to anyone in my extended family either my in-laws and my own parents are very conservative and all hell would break lose if anyone else came to know of it. Both my children are insisting that they have been and will continue to remain very careful, and that I should let them continue. I am caught in two minds as to how best to advice them. Should I just let them be with advice that my son should not knock up his sister pregnant?
            Its indeed a sad and weird situation. I do not know your specific location but suggest you to connect with a free psychiatric helpline (there are a few in India) and seek professional help to tackle this situation. They are still 'kids' in many ways and there are no amount of excuses or manipulation that can work in this case. If 'consent' is the logic being applied here then in pedophilia, it is discovered that the minor is also attracted to the adult. If 'outlet' is the excuse being applied here, then in rape, many a times the victim is also excited since its a sexual act at the end of the day and secretes sexual fluids.

            Sexual boundaries are obviously man made. But there is a reason why we are not allowed to live like animals. Fetishes and sexual activity has always come under grey area but its psychological and sociological repercussions must be understood and later dealt with. For example, public display of affection gets different reactions and laws are in place depending on the country you are in. While in some countries, on nude beaches you can make love in broad daylight, while in other countries even a peck on the cheek gets an angry reaction.

            I think more than the 'enjoyment' aspect, they must understand the devastating effect it will have on their future relationships and interactions with others and within the family. The family bond is forever and these nightmare sexcapades will haunt them forever. No matter how much they try to forget it.

            Hell... I still get flashbacks of me falling in front of my class and them laughing in primary school!

            FIRST THINGS FIRST... you are a middle aged widow working hard to get them educated. They should be concentrating on their studies to eventually get a good career going. This shagging isnt helping you or the financial state. Their outlet can come out with hands and fingers into the toilet bowl. Many generations in the past present and future will use this method and it works.

            Second, if they are so 'mature' at 20 and 17 to know about contraceptives, then I suggest them to be 'mature' and live separately. Live that free love Hippie lifestyle. They can do manual labor and live in huts for all I care. Declare to the world that they are an incestuous couple and proud of it. Prove how 'independent free' thinkers they really are. Lets see how society reacts to it. The reason why it was hush hush because its obviously a taboo. I blame porn for this. Its freely available and most storylines these days are about either stepmom or stepsister. You should be careful... they might pounce on you next.

            I think a harsher but more honest and potent response is required from your end. Rather than mere counselling, you also need to shake their foundations. They are living a happy go lucky lifestyle under your roof and making merry without earning a living or contributing to the family other than bringing potential shame. So, if they really are so independent hippies... then throw them out of the house. He is technically adult. He should work in BPOs or work in construction or whatever, earn a living, and they can live together happily ever after.

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