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I want to kill myself

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  • I want to kill myself

    Yes i want to kill myself because i am the bad one in my family..the loser one..and everyone in this family are so pure souls so innocent respected and perfect and deserves a perfect life but because of me they are sad depressed..i am not capable for settling down or for marriage but my brothers are very much capable but not saying yes..i am so frustrated..how can be someone so stupid..if there are some drawbacks in me and it's ok na i will find someone later but why he is wasting time age..my parents are in depression..last 2 years i am trying to find someone for me and conveniencing him..happiness will come in this house when he is ready..i am responsible for my parents depression and brothers marriage..seriously they are so loving caring pure souls but stupid..i just want to kill myself but i can't because they all are so sensitive..i am responsible for parents depression i am responsible for everything i am the barrier..in this perfect family house i am the loser one..i am destroying everything what they deserve..am just getting mad please help me

  • #2
    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    Yes i want to kill myself because i am the bad one in my family..the loser one..and everyone in this family are so pure souls so innocent respected and perfect and deserves a perfect life but because of me they are sad depressed..i am not capable for settling down or for marriage but my brothers are very much capable but not saying yes..i am so frustrated..how can be someone so stupid..if there are some drawbacks in me and it's ok na i will find someone later but why he is wasting time age..my parents are in depression..last 2 years i am trying to find someone for me and conveniencing him..happiness will come in this house when he is ready..i am responsible for my parents depression and brothers marriage..seriously they are so loving caring pure souls but stupid..i just want to kill myself but i can't because they all are so sensitive..i am responsible for parents depression i am responsible for everything i am the barrier..in this perfect family house i am the loser one..i am destroying everything what they deserve..am just getting mad please help me
    =================================
    Hey there, I understand your frustration and I'm also pretty sure each and every person goes through such a low at certain point of time. So you are not the only one who feels like this. But that does not mean the issues you are facing are not serious. yes they are and they need to be sorted out. WHen you say you are the bad one, is that your feeling towards yourself or others have mentioned that to you. Since you love and affection for all your family members you don't like hurting them and that is why you have such thoughts.

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    • #3
      No no Yar
      Hosla rakh

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      • #4
        From your words its clear you need help. Perhaps psychological help... or you need a friend to talk too... perhaps a support group.. where you can talk, discuss your problems and take advice... you havent told your problem in detail... if you are looser than work hard... If you need psychological help to overcome your depression go to a therapist ....He would listen to your problems and give you anti-depression medication.... If you need career advice or job than go to a job consultancy...

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        • #5
          There is only one person for whose happiness you are responsible. And that is you. I'll assume that you are an educated adult with a job. If you don't have a job, get one. In my career I have realized that a job is not just a source of money. It provides social aspects that help you grow and be strong.

          Once you become financially independent, you're empowered to do what you want. Your parents can impose their opinions on you only because you're dependent on them. You can stop listening to them once you're independent, move out of this house with the toxic environment and live your life the way you want to.

          I think you're more pissed at your family than suffering from self-loathing. You're the only person that's allowed to make you feel bad about you. Not your parents, not your brothers, not anyone else. If your family is sad and depressed, it's their problem. They have to learn to be mature adults and figure out their own happiness. You are not responsible for their happiness. Just focus on finding happiness on your own.

          If they continue to badger you to do something that doesn't bring YOU happiness, just tell them "Tough luck! You go and find a solution to your own problems. I'll do what makes me happy." And maintain a distance from such negative and virulent people.

          Marriage is such an individual decision. But in India, we allow our family to control that aspect of our life, just out of respect. You can evolve and rise above that. Respect people, but don't let them walk all over you. Leave their house. Don't take their calls. Just enjoy your life on your own terms.

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